interference.

I have many feels mid-week as I ponder the chapter that is ending this weekend. Our big island Lakehouse didn’t sell, after listing it twice in two years. We scrambled a year ago and sold some other properties. Ones we had intended to keep for the long run, yet this Big Dawg is the one that stuck with us. The expensive one…. Eeks.

So, we pivot. 

It took awhile for me to conjure up the right plan. Lots of intentional creation of space and pausing time to allow room for me to think. Seeking an accidental idea to arrive as my “on purpose” options had failed. Failed big.

Then it suddenly happened. The timing of it coming together was wonderful. A domino effect of people in need and our gorgeous home being the solution. The alignment felt easy and good. Simple, but enough oxygen to breathe deeply again.

I am confident that this “final” move is temporary, but who knows? We love our little island and have owned houses there since 2020. We love this lake front home – its vast ceilings and colorfully, remodeled bathrooms. The sunrise view from our bed has delivered many an unproductive morning….  No regrets.

We love the beaches, the gorgeous Live Oaks dripping with Spanish Moss, the cool ocean breezes reaching our deck. The perfect bike trails and the beautiful neighborhoods to wander through. The waves echoing through our windows The great restaurants. Fun events. The convenience of everything… the way we *feel* here is a cool breeze + a warm hug.

We didn’t know that life had other plans and the soul of our home whispered for awhile, but I was too busy to hear. Too busy trying to solve the problem. Trying to force the win to happen. Then the house SPOKE to me LOUDLY. Yelling and calling to me to slow down and LISTEN. So I did and acquiesced, accepting our fate and pivoting towards the new greatness.

I come back to this quote time and time again in this life:
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so we can have the life that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

And so it goes, over and over again. Rinse & repeat. Let go of expectations. Again. With ease after so many months of “hard”… I accept the new path, same journey. I turn the page, which is 100% necessary if you want to finish the book. I have so much gratitude for the chance to do so, but it’s not been easy this time. I fought it, unintentionally. Against my will to do so, I ran interference on progress. I fought the tide. I held my breath.

I thought I’d bounce. 

I didn’t. 

Till today. 

It’s about time, but evolution and growth cannot be rushed……. 🌞 The Universe really beat this lesson into me this time, because apparently the learning hadn’t stuck from all of the other trials and tribulations over the last few decades! It will, now. Like an octopus on my face. 

Today is the first day I realized just how much pain I’ve caused myself up for twelve months, since I walked away from a promising professional circumstance that turned rancid from day one, but it took me three months to act. Two and a half years since Ian accepted the job back up in Savannah and our life got hectic. Two years since my business expansion plan died on the vine due to a contractor failure and read it as “a sign” to not proceed.

So all in all, about two years of struggle and optimism that became tarnished. Dashed hopes. Self loathing. Rebounds that went out of bounds. Belief failing. Financial struggles. Daily internal chaos. Sadness. Interference in finding happiness. Lost faith in myself and our life choices.

Today I release the expectations of “what should have happened” and dance in the energy of “I wonder what’s next?” Again.

I can see clearly now the rain has gone….
I can see all the obstacles in my way 🎶