This is a picture of what was going to be carrot cake cupcakes. I dropped something onto the bowl and it the dry ingredients splashed everywhere. My first instincts were to laugh hysterically at the mess and then to snap a picture, knowing it was a powerful moment that I’d need to summon up someday as an example of something. This was two years ago. I know I shared it publicly at the time. I often share my messy failures. It’s how I roll.
Transparency, honesty & authenticity.
These approaches to Life rattle people outside my tribe. I’ll admit, in the beginning, I 95% cared what these outsiders thought about my approach to living. Nowadays I’m at about a 15% care rate. I’m human and far from perfect, so I sometimes feel judgements and negative opinions. The difference now for me is that when judgement stings, I search to realize it’s an outside influence bringing me down. I can then actively mitigate the situation mentally and emotionally, and move myself quickly past the pain.
I was told by an athletic coach once that to achieve optimum performance, high performing athletes must maintain the same level of enthusiasm for their sport regardless of the outcome. Win – stoked, but chill while being conscious of the awesomeness. Lose – bummed, but mindful of negative influence on their mental space. It’s the same with living for us non-superstar athletes. We’ve got to live our lives with intention and do what’s best for ourselves, mindful to the influence we have on our communities and “tribe” while being aware and prepared to accept any outcome. I take that one step further and actively share my wins and losses with the intention that maybe others will know they aren’t alone in their failures. I’m cognizant and confident that failures are often laughable moments if we allow them to be, and they’re also the fuel that can propel us forward.
Since my 30s, I’ve tried to adopt a position on social media in which I am open with my triumphs and misfirings, keeping details to a minimum unless asked. I’ve shared my massive blows and my rebounds. I’ve been transparent misery and other emotions. I’ve communicated my processes. I’ve lived as an open book, unless the open-ness could possibly injure someone else (ie someone who has hurt me, details about another person’s trauma, etc.) I’ve functioned this way, hoping that my details could support others in their personal quests.
A few times I’ve been rewarded with knowing that I’ve made the assist. The quick post below is one of those times. A childhood friend, who I’ve not seen in person for over 30 years acknowledged my indirect contribution to her taking a big leap. I was truly blown away and so joyful for having positively impacted someone with my transparence.
“So today was my last day at (her employer) and I am jumping in to the deep end to just see what happens. Shout out to many friends who have listened (and listened!) and encouraged me over the past two years to explore this change and especially (tagged friends and family) and to those who inspired without knowing: Kimberley Harr Jardine (that’s me!) Corinne, and Justin. Introducing to everyone SASSIE Consulting LLC : https://sassieconsulting.com
Me: OMG I’m so excited for you! I just read the summary ❤️ 🌍 I don’t know how in the world I earned a spot of honor in this post, but my heart soared when it popped up! Congratulations!! (Plug your nose and hold your breath… it buys you more time in the deep end! 😉) PS here with a life ring if you need rescuing! 💦
Marcia: Kimberley I have admired your courage over the years to follow your heart and passion and have thought many times well, I should do that. You probably didn’t know anyone was reading your posts and getting the courage to dive deep, but yeah. So, thank you for leading by example. It’s funny sometimes how you don’t know the positive influence you might have in others by just being open with your leaps of faith.
These words grabbed my very soul and made it sing: “It’s funny sometimes how you don’t know the positive influence you might have in others by just being open with your leaps of faith.” YES!
Then today, as I was pondering this topic, a quote I saved “popped up” in my social media memories: “Even if you go for it and it doesn’t work out you still win. You still had the guts to head straight into something that frightened you. That type of bravery will take you places.” – The Better Man Project
Again. YES! Like Nike said/says “Just do it.” Go forward and go for it – authentically, honestly & transparently.
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